Andrew Thomas I for pope

Now that the Pope is dead, the world's attention will shift to the papal election (except here in the U.S., where we can finally devote all of our attention to the Michael Jackson trial). The Catholic Church needs a uniting force to move the church forward. There is just one man (to use the term loosely) who fills this bill: Andy Wilson.

Though he doesn't hold many of the credentials of traditional candidates, I believe the platform of melting down the church's gold to build a water park/abortion clinic should resonate with the cardinals.